YES !I I HAVE GONE THROUGH DEPRESSION AND I M NOT ASHAMED OF THAT!!!!!!!!!!

ALL I WANT IS TO SCREAM AND CRY LET IT ALL OUT BECAUSE IT IS KILLING ME INSIDE.

I WASN'T JUST ADDICTED TO DOPE, I WAS ADDICTED TO SELF-DESTRUCTION. It's NOT GOODBYE THAT HURTS BUT A FLASHBACK THAT FLOWS.

THAT'S THE STIGMA because unfortunately, we live in a world where if you break your arm, everyone runs over to sign your cast, but if you tell people you are depressed, everyone runs the other way and that's the stigma. we are so, so accepting of any body part breaking down, other than our brains. and that's the ignorance. And that ignorance has created the world that doesn't UNDERSTAND depression, that doesn't understand mental health.

 IT IS CRUEL PUNISHMENT WITH NO FEARS, NO RASHES, NO BLOOD TEST TO SEND PEOPLE SCURRYING IN CONCERN, JUST THE SLOW EROSION OF SELF, AS INSIDIOUS AS CANCER. AND IT IS ESSENTIALLY A SOLITARY EXPERIENCE; A ROOM IN HELL WITH YOUR NAME ON THE DOOR.

"It's living in a body that fights to survive with a mind that tries to die".Having anxiety and depression is like being scared and tired at the same time.it's the fear of failure but no urge to productive.its wanting friends but hate socializing.it's wanting to  be alone but not lonely.it's caring about everything then caring about nothing.it's feeling everything at once then feeling paralyzingly numb. DEPRESSION IS AN  UNPLEASANT THING I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED......IT IS THAT ABSENCE OF BEING ABLE TO ENVISAGE THAT YOU WILL NEVER BE CHEERFUL AGAIN. THE ABSENCE OF HOPE.THAT VERY DEADENED FEELING WHICH IS SO DIFFERENT FROM FEELING SAD. SAD HURTS, BUT IT IS A HEALTHY FEELING. IT IS A NECESSARY THING TO FEEL. DEPRESSION IS VERY DIFFERENT .

I have a bad habit of isolating WHEN I M SAD OR DEPRESSED.PART OF IT IS CAUSE I DON'T WANT TO DRAIN THE HAPPINESS OF THOSE AROUND  ME OR BURDEN THEM WITH MY PROBLEMS. ANOTHER PART IS CAUSE MY MENTAL STATE IS FRAGILE AND I DON'T NEED any more NEGATIVITY TO MAKE ME FEEL WORSE THEN I DO.

It isn't an act. Bipolar isn't phases. Suicide isn't a coward's escape.self-harm is not a cry of attention.PTSD isn't something you just snap out of. Stop acting like you know everything...Try asking help about your illness.more importantly have some compassion and try to understand.

    

    I DON'T THINK PEOPLE REALIZE HOW MUCH STRENGTH IT TAKES TO PULL YOUR OWN SELF OUT OF A DARK PLACE MENTALLY.
SO IF YOU HAVE DONE THAT TODAY OR ANY DAY, I'M PROUD OF YOU.

HOW IT FEELS WHEN YOU GO THROUGH IT YOUR DAILY ROUTINE ALWAYS CHANGES ...PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY .DEPRESSION IS MORE THAN EMOTION 

• FEELING LIKE A BURDEN
• FORGETTING THINGS UNABLE TO MOVE FROM PAST TRAUMA .
• UNUSUAL SLEEP AND EATING HABITS.
• TURNING DOWN ACTIVITIES YOU USUALLY LOVE
• FEEL EXHAUSTED
• SPENDING ALL DAY IN BED.
• SOCIAL ISOLATION 
• SUICIDIAL IDEATION AND INTENT.

PLEASE CHECKIN YOUR SURROUNDING IF ANY OF  FRIENDS  OR FAMILY IS GOING THROUGH THIS PHASE BECAUSE  EVEN THE GOOFY/FUNNY ONES THEY CAN HIDE IT THE BEST!!!!

RELAX BREATHE.IT TAKES TIME,BUT THERE IS GREAT JOY  TO BE HAD IN MOMENTS OF EVERYDAY.JUST REMEMBER,YOU ARE LEARNING NEW STEPS ,A NEW DANCE. YOU HAVE TO FIGHT SOME BAD DAYS TO EARN THE BEST DAYS OF YOUR LIFE.